they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
