she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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