walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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