So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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