Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
