She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
