we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
