ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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