Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
