I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize