Plan B is the new Plan A
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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