Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize