Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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