Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize