I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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