There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
