Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
