He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
