you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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