I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
