Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
