i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize