if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
His nipple licking is glorious
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