u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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