well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
