SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
