i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
