Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize