hell yes lets make some ravioli
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
