Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
