I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
