I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize