She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
