the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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