I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
