Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize