am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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