There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize