I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
