just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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