remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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