Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
