You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
