dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize