At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Randomize
