Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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