i permit you to call me
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize