Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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