that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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