i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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