At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
