Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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