dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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