i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
