He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
why do cheetos always look like penises
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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