I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
